Need to go from A to B? Leaving the comforts of home? Let’s talk about how to get to your destination in one piece.
There are many events in life that can cause us to need to travel. Maybe family lives far away from where you currently live. Maybe you’re visiting friends, or a long-distance partner. Maybe work demands that you travel. Regardless, traveling can be difficult for our Autistic selves.
We’re going to walk you step-by-step through what to expect, what you need, and how to prepare.
First up, let’s discuss what a typical traveling experience looks like.
What should I expect?
Traveling means uprooting yourself. No matter where you’re going, you’ll be living out of a suitcase for several days, weeks, or months. This can be uncomfortable for some people. Not only that, but getting there– and back again– is a long, arduous process.
You have to hop on a plane and sit very still for at least an hour, but often much longer.
You have to get in a car and be shuffled around your seat while someone else drives. Or, you’re driving yourself (and everyone else) while staring fixedly at the road, trying to be safe.
I’ve never ridden a train long-distance before, but they’re often slow and late according to their timetables.
Traveling is a process, to say the least. How do you make them the most comfortable you can for your trip?
For cars: You may be stiff, anxious, sleepy, and find it harder to drive. I recommend not driving for more than 3 hours at a time, at least stopping at a gas station here and there for a bathroom and a “walk-around” break. If you’re riding instead of driving, you may become very stiff and bored. Give your passengers their breaks too.
Trains: You’re able to walk around, so it’s far more bearable, but it may be quite loud. Be prepared for the screech of the wheels on the track-- it can be quite loud and draining.
Airplanes: They’re cold, they're cramped, there’s lots of annoying people around you and next to you. For that reason, I can only recommend the aisle seat or the window seat. Aisle seat is wonderful for getting up quickly, and window seat is great for distracting yourself from the experience. Do your best to entertain yourself, or use the bathroom frequently to recover your sense of stability. We will talk more about the process of getting onto an airplane.
Checking in to your hotel: We’ll talk more about this process later, and the issues that may arise such as your sheets being too scratchy on your skin and other annoyances.
However, let’s first talk more about the supplies you should bring, and how to be prepared for your traveling experience.
What should I bring?
Here are the most important things I’ve found to bring while traveling, whether short distances, long distances, or anything in-between. These are most important for air travel, but they could also be useful for train or car travel as well!
Earplugs. You’re going to be in a noisy environment, so you’re going to want earplugs to help with that– or if you want to sleep. I usually recommend wax earplugs because they seem more effective to me than foam earplugs.
However, wax earplugs work very differently from foam earplugs. You slide the wax over your ear canal until it makes a seal. Then, when you take it off, you need to VERY gently slide it off to break the seal. Be careful.
Mask: Regardless of how you feel about Covid or illness in general, if you’re sensitive to scents (which, you’re GOING to smell when you’re tightly packed in an airplane) you’re going to need a mask. Also, in my own experience with flying, I got my sickest when I was traveling. There’s so many people in such a small space that it's almost inevitable in the age of Covid. Take some steps to avoid getting sick.
Headphones (noise canceling) or earphones. A caveat too: you’re going to need to download some music, or be willing to pay for WiFi from the air service provider. Headphones/earphones are a game changer on a long trip and have helped prevent some of my shutdowns. Movies, TV shows, podcasts, and more are a great idea too!
Book(s). If you have the attention span for books, it’s fun to distract yourself for an hour or more with a book. Try to bring one that you WANT to read, not one that you’d LIKE to read. That way you actually read it instead of just holding it on your lap for the entire flight.
Dress in comfy clothes. Whatever that may mean for you. People typically dress in slide-on shoes such as flip-flops or tennis shoes that can easily be removed and put back on. They also tend to wear sweatpants and loose shirts and jackets. However, it’s a balance– you need to dress suitably enough that you don’t get attention from the TSA. I saw someone who seemed to be dressed very comfortably for his style who was then pulled away by the TSA. Be aware of how you appear to others when you leave for the airport. Ask an allistic person for their opinion if you’re unsure.
These tips can make traveling much, much easier! But that’s the physical side of things– how do you make yourself mentally more prepared for traveling?
How do I mentally prepare?
There are many different steps you can take to help yourself get mentally ready for a new space.
The biggest one I do is to take advantage of the fact that literally everything is on the Internet. Especially services, such as tourist offerings, hotels, and practically anywhere you might be going.
I’ve found that the sensory shock of going somewhere new is far lessened for me if I already, a little bit, know where I am.
I look up floor plans for the hotels I will be staying at. I look at pictures of the type of hotel room I booked. I look up facts about the hotel: do they have a pool? Do they have a hot tub? Do they offer breakfast? These things will all help me get more prepared.
What about tourist spots? Same thing– I will Google Maps the location and look at the site, and also the streets surrounding it. I will note anything interesting. I will think about what time of day I want to be there. I imagine myself walking or driving across this strange place.
I imagine each step of the process, from getting there to leaving. It helps me A LOT. It sounds like it’s just a useless thought experiment, but in reality it helps to have already “gone through” the process by the time I have to go through it in reality. Of course unexpected things will happen along the way, but this way they will be minimized.
How about each step of getting there? I'm going to describe each step of air travel, the most draining and-- arguably, scary-- type of travel.
Boarding a plane
Air travel is known to be tedious, cumbersome, and annoying. Here’s each step of air travel:
Plan to get there several hours early. Ideally 3 to 4. It may take an hour or more for you to get through TSA, and that’s if there are no hang-ups. You don’t want to be the person sprinting for the airport gate 2 minutes before the gates close.
You need to get yourself to the airport. Once you’re fully packed with everything you need (medications in their original bottles, electronics easily reachable for TSA), you need to actually get there. How? There are several options:
Have someone you know drop you off. This is easy, and cheap. However not everyone will want to drive to the airport in the early morning, in the middle of the day, or late at night. You may need to consider other options…
Take a shuttle. There are lots of shuttles near airports that pick up people from pre-determined drop-off and pick-up points, such as nearby hotels. You will need to do some research into your local shuttles to see if this is feasible for you.
Take public transportation. Depending on your location this may make the most sense, be somewhat feasible, or be completely impossible. If you do take public transportation, I recommend leaving many hours earlier in case a bus is canceled, or misses you. You need to plan on being an hour, or multiple hours, late with public transportation.
Take an uber or lyft. This is expensive depending on how far you need to go, but it may be your only option.
Park your car at the airport. This, again, may also be very expensive. But it is arguably the most comfortable and least stressful option.
Once you arrive at the airport, it’s a good idea to print out your boarding pass– just in case you can’t access your digital pass for some reason. There are usually kiosks set up at the entrance to the airport.
While you’re here, now is a good opportunity to make sure that you’re ready for TSA. Are you carrying any weapons, liquids larger than 3.4 oz, or electronics in hard-to-reach places? If the former two apply then you need to throw them away. If the latter applies, then make sure it’s easily accessible for the next part: TSA screening.
Next, time for TSA screening. You need to stand in a very, very long line as early as you can. The longer you wait, the bigger the line gets. You will need to present both your ID and your boarding pass to a scanner or officer. depending on the size of the airport. Then, you will need to take off your shoes, take all of your electronics out of your bag, and put them into the provided plastic bins. Your shoes and your electronics can go into 1 bin, and the bag needs to go into a separate bin. They will then be put through a scanner. Then, you will be chosen to either step through an x-ray machine for additional scanning, or to simply step through a simple scanner.
Go through whichever you’re directed to without complaint. Which one you’re chosen for depends entirely on the TSA person directing people where to go.
If the "additional scanning" machine detects abnormalities on your person, such as something in your pocket, then you may be patted down. They will slide their hands around your sides, any pockets, or anywhere that pops up as abnormal on the scanner.
If you identify as trans, now would be a good time to inform them.
Once the scanning is done, collect your things. Then you can find your gate! There will be signs along the ceiling or walls directing you on where to go.
Once you’ve found your gate, you can relax in the gate waiting room. You will be waiting ideally for hours, but sometimes minutes. Feel free to explore the expensive stores across the airport. Buy anything needed, such as neck pillows and masks.
Once the call for boarding begins, they will begin to list group numbers both verbally and on the screen. It will say your group/boarding number on your boarding bass. If you bought the standard economy seating, you will be boarding as group 6. It starts at 1, and then counts up. Group 1 are all of the luxury seats.
While boarding, especially if you’re in group 6, they may say that “all passengers beyond this point need to check their bags.” This means that the overhead compartment, where people stow their bags, is becoming full, and they need to check all further bags to save space. If you’re in group 6 and are being told to check your bag, go to the counter, where they will put a tag on your bag, and then you can stand in line to board the plane.
You will now begin boarding the plane and wait in line. You will be walking through a tunnel that connects to the plane’s entrance. As you get close to getting on the plane, several assistants will take your bag if it has been checked at this point. If not, you will need to put it in the overhead compartment. Follow the line as boarding continues, and step into the plane, where the pilot and flight stewardesses are waiting. Step past them. Look at your boarding pass– it will say what seat you have been assigned. Check along the sides of the airplane, where letters and numbers are listed. A through F refers to what seat you are, and the number refers to what row.
Continue until your seat’s number comes up, and sit in the assigned letter of seat. It is very likely that someone will be sitting in your seat, out of hopes that you don’t say anything. Don’t just take it– make a fuss, especially if you paid for that specific seat! Say that that’s your seat. Ask politely. But if they still aren’t budging, signal for a flight assistant to help you.
If you have your carry-on bag still with you, then put it in the overhead bin. If you are small of stature (like me) someone nearby will likely be happy to help you put it up and take it down when you land at your destination.
Settle down into your seat. Alongside your checked or carry-on bag(s), you should have a personal item as well. This is usually a very small bag that you can fit under the seat in front of you. Settle that between your legs and partially under the seat. You will be required to push it all the way under when the plane begins takeoff.
Chew gum, take your headphones out, anything you need to prepare. Don’t get your laptop out until flight begins, because they will require you to put it away.
Some minutes (or hours) later, the flight will begin. Congrats, you made it!
De-boarding is very simple. Don’t stand up until it’s your turn to get off, it’s considered very rude to do so. Once you’re out of the airplane, if you have a checked bag, go to the baggage claim. If you don’t, find the exit to the airport– if you’re not taking a connecting flight– or your gate for the next flight. And, you’re done!
Checking into a hotel
Checking into a hotel is relatively simple and painless compared to air travel. You need to: walk up to the front desk, give them your info, provide them a credit card for “incidentals” or the deposit, provide them your ID, and accept your keys.
“Incidentals” refers to all the costs you may accrue when you stay at a hotel. Avoid using the provided water bottles, candy, or other food in the room and you won’t pay an incidental fee.
Done! Find your room by taking the elevator to the proper floor (usually the numbers beginning at the front of the room code indicate this. E.g. room 204 is likely on floor 2) and look for your number.
Settle in and get comfortable after your long journey!
You’re going to be drained, be ready for that
One thing you want to be prepared for: you’re going to get tired, and quickly!
At least for myself, the new environment mixed with the exhausting air travel means that I’m frequently exhausted while traveling.
I frequently have to, or should be, eating new food while traveling. I’m constantly experiencing new places. I get overwhelmed, or at least drained, very fast. While my friends are very ready to keep exploring and walking around, I’ll need a break at the hotel for a few hours before I’m recharged enough to keep going.
It might be the same for you, or it might not be! It depends on your Autistic symptoms and where exactly you’re going. I recommend preparing for the worst, but accepting the best if it happens.
Try to explain to your friends beforehand what might happen, if you’re traveling with friends or family members. They need to accommodate YOU, not vice versa.
Enjoying where you’ve traveled to
Although it might be hard with how much has been asked of you to travel at all, consider enjoying the uniqueness of the place you’re at.
Even though it’s likely overwhelming for you because it’s so different, there is so much to enjoy. Take frequent breaks so you’re able to appreciate how different this place is from your hometown.
Try to try new foods, new drinks, new places, new things– try to see the bright side of the experience even when you’re feeling ready to go home. It’s difficult, but when you look back it’ll feel worth it.
Limiting everyone’s expectations of you
While you’re traveling, let everyone that you’re travling with know what you have historically been able to accomplish while at home, or during other times you have traveled. Inform them of what you think you may be able to handle.
Make sure and underpromise. Say you’ll need a break every 5 hours if you think it’s 3. That way you won’t be disappointing anyone, they’ll actually be delighted that it’s much less often than you thought. And that way, if you need more time, it won’t feel like a surprise. Prepare for it to be worse than it likely will be. Preparation is key.
If the people you’re traveling with are decent people, they will understand. You don’t want to travel with degrading, rude, or demanding people– it will ruin the whole experience for you.
But how do you prepare for the actual trip itself, not just the flight ordeal?
Making a prep bundle
Consider making a prep pack that can fit in a purse/backpack with all of your needed sensory items. Think of things that, if you’re stuck in the middle of a road somewhere and beginning a meltdown, you could take this pack out and recover with it.
I think that: earplugs, earphones, a mask, and whatever else you might need to recover would be good to include. Things that could be easily accessed.
How else do you prevent meltdown or shutdown from occuring? Think about this in-depth when you first start organizing your trip.
Rest often
Next, consider resting often. Don’t push yourself into shutdown or meltdown. Allow yourself to rest enough. You don’t need to see every monument. You will be fine skipping some things. Even if it's sad in the moment, it's better than sparking a shutdown.
Traveling home
Lastly, traveling home. You’re going to be fatigued. Too fatigued for public transportation most likely. Consider having someone pick you up from the airport, if you can.
Final thoughts
These are some of my thoughts about traveling, particularly air travel. I hope they were helpful to you!
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